I've been silent for a while... Life took a busy turn as soon as I managed to get online and complain about it, and my energy simply hasn't been up to the task on venting my continually growing frustration. My life is still a dull mix of work and good hard attempt at studying for Stadia's entrance exam. Motivation level is below freezing at the moment, however... and besides, who really wants to be an occupational therapist, anyway? I mean, in the event of one's greatest dream being becoming an english teacher. :/
Well, the last year has been an eye-opening reality check, and I don't think I'll be bothering with universities any more. Really, my attitude towards school is "wherever I get in is good" (not that I really greatly care for getting in anywhere, anymore).

I've also always dreamed great big wild, colorful dreams of one say writing a book of my own. I don't believe I lack the skill nor the determination. The problem has simply been getting my thoughts out of my muddled mind and onto paper. There are so many ideas swarming in my head like a cloud of millions and millions of small butterflies. Now, you try catching exactly the ones you know you want when the others flutter their gaudy wings in front of you, trying to pull your attention away from the ones you were originally after like the women in Henry VIII's court. Katherine, the Spanish princess sitting amiably in the midsts of her ladies in waiting, watching his husband trah around the room with a butterfly net. Anne Boleyn here, her sister Mary there... A pretty Seymour girl in the corner beckoning with the wink of her eye. How could one keep one's eyes on the original target when there are so many others to snatch up and explore thoroughly? *laughs* And, as Henry's many wives, my colorful courtiers of the mind are set aside one after the other in a silent, but determined rage; divorced, beheaded, survived, diverced, beheaded, died...

(Did anyone notice that I've been reading Philippa Gregory? ;D)

My life has reached a standstill. At least it definitely feels like it. :P I do love my kindergarden job, but it doesn't pay; I have the longing, and definitely the motivation to continue my studies, but no school will accept me since I have an american high school diploma; and I had to move back to mom's place and leave my dear N to South-Karelia. Blargh! Talk about life, huh?

Well, there's definitely been some positive things going on. For example, I got asked to be one of the godmothers of the most perfect and beautiful baby girl in the world! :) I'm most excited about this, and already went out and bought my baptism gift for her... and I'm sure it's just perfect. <3